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maugornDear 2011,
I have to see you go now, and for many reasons, I *could* say that's a good thing. But I just want you to know that I would not have given you up if I didn't have to, and I also want you to know that I never gave up on you even tho you weren't always very nice to me.
Alot of stupid stuff happened, like my umbilical hernia getting strangulated and needing surgery, like my office going into an "urgent crisis aversion driven makeover"(when I had other plans), like instruments, gear, equipment not working or breaking down at critical junctures. There was inclement weather, earthquakes, hurricanes, lesser disasters too, and sometimes actual damage to me, my plans, my things in their wake.
Heck, I've had some MAJOR disruptions in my status quo under your watch, a status quo which I was mostly content with and learning to be happy with. But instead of leaving me in that growing contentment, you've sent major distractions that disrupted my thinking and affected me to the point where I would actually drop balls, and make mistakes that got me in some real trouble. You've left me distracted, and discontent.
I OUGHT to be pissed at you, after all the thorn bushes you've dragged me thru, 2011, and in many ways, I am. But for all the dreck, drama, disruption, distraction, discomfort, I just can't bring myself to say you were wrong. Because, you see, unlike 2010, you tried. At least that's what I've concluded. Actually, you succeeded where many failed. You managed to leave me, for all my scrapes and scratches, better off than I was. 2010 kept leaving me sitting among small rewards and more wreckage.
But you left me with bigger rewards and less wreckage, even tho it felt like you were hurting me just as much or more.
And I have to admit, that I NEEDED some of those status quos to be shaken up.
And you also contrived, directly thru some of that disruption, to pry open a backdoor to a creative vein that had been buried long ago in one of the inevitable landslides of my fraught history. That was unexpected, bittersweet, and also exhilirating. It's what I've needed to do for a long time, and I just can't bring myself to completely resent the path to get here, even as I wonder why it had to work out the way it did for that to happen. (You know, with the disruptions and frustrations and all)
I've learned some incredible things about myself this year, 2011, thanks to you and your prickly ways; one of them being that too many of the things I didn't like about you turned out to be things I don't like about ME.
You were an odd year, 2011, one of the oddest ever. You kept *acting* like you didn't like me, smacking me around, dashing my plans, disrupting EVERYTHING, and yet somehow despite your appearance, despite how you *acted*, you've left me much better off now than when you found me. I think you have a secret, 2011, and that you've been doing your level best to keep it, and that you may even believe that others will take a look at how you treat me and conclude that you didn't and don't care for me. But- while I could certainly do without all the heartache and confusion you leave in your wake, I'm not buying it, and I don't think anyone else will for long, either. History is gong to show that you were a good year, 2011, and someday, maybe, I'll figure out why you wanted to hide that.
so...
thanks!
Maugorn
I have to see you go now, and for many reasons, I *could* say that's a good thing. But I just want you to know that I would not have given you up if I didn't have to, and I also want you to know that I never gave up on you even tho you weren't always very nice to me.
Alot of stupid stuff happened, like my umbilical hernia getting strangulated and needing surgery, like my office going into an "urgent crisis aversion driven makeover"(when I had other plans), like instruments, gear, equipment not working or breaking down at critical junctures. There was inclement weather, earthquakes, hurricanes, lesser disasters too, and sometimes actual damage to me, my plans, my things in their wake.
Heck, I've had some MAJOR disruptions in my status quo under your watch, a status quo which I was mostly content with and learning to be happy with. But instead of leaving me in that growing contentment, you've sent major distractions that disrupted my thinking and affected me to the point where I would actually drop balls, and make mistakes that got me in some real trouble. You've left me distracted, and discontent.
I OUGHT to be pissed at you, after all the thorn bushes you've dragged me thru, 2011, and in many ways, I am. But for all the dreck, drama, disruption, distraction, discomfort, I just can't bring myself to say you were wrong. Because, you see, unlike 2010, you tried. At least that's what I've concluded. Actually, you succeeded where many failed. You managed to leave me, for all my scrapes and scratches, better off than I was. 2010 kept leaving me sitting among small rewards and more wreckage.
But you left me with bigger rewards and less wreckage, even tho it felt like you were hurting me just as much or more.
And I have to admit, that I NEEDED some of those status quos to be shaken up.
And you also contrived, directly thru some of that disruption, to pry open a backdoor to a creative vein that had been buried long ago in one of the inevitable landslides of my fraught history. That was unexpected, bittersweet, and also exhilirating. It's what I've needed to do for a long time, and I just can't bring myself to completely resent the path to get here, even as I wonder why it had to work out the way it did for that to happen. (You know, with the disruptions and frustrations and all)
I've learned some incredible things about myself this year, 2011, thanks to you and your prickly ways; one of them being that too many of the things I didn't like about you turned out to be things I don't like about ME.
You were an odd year, 2011, one of the oddest ever. You kept *acting* like you didn't like me, smacking me around, dashing my plans, disrupting EVERYTHING, and yet somehow despite your appearance, despite how you *acted*, you've left me much better off now than when you found me. I think you have a secret, 2011, and that you've been doing your level best to keep it, and that you may even believe that others will take a look at how you treat me and conclude that you didn't and don't care for me. But- while I could certainly do without all the heartache and confusion you leave in your wake, I'm not buying it, and I don't think anyone else will for long, either. History is gong to show that you were a good year, 2011, and someday, maybe, I'll figure out why you wanted to hide that.
so...
thanks!
Maugorn
