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[personal profile] maugorn
This was a really wierd version of the classic anxiety dream. I thought that perhaps writing it down could be useful.

I was at an event. It was an event that (in the dream) I was going to have a pretty heavy involvement in and quite a bit of responsibility for, doing the things I'm good at. So the dream was taking place (somehow, I knew) on the second day of said event, and I was not doing my job. Instead I was wandering around taking it all in and kind of relaxed and enjoying myself. I seemed very unstressed about it all, but I was wondering how the things I was supposed to be getting done were getting done. I didn't seem *too* uspet tho. That was curious. I wound up in a conversation with an acquaintance who was entertaining at the event, someone I admire and respect alot. It was then that I realised that something wierd was going on, because I truly didn't KNOW how I came to be in the situation I was in: wandering around not doing anything and curiously unworried about it. So I think that as my awareness of this fact came to my consciousness in the dream that I started subtly plying my friend for information, and it all came out:

My sound equipment had somehow all broken down in the night. So wierdly and so suddenly and so thoroughly was it trashed, that I had just given up. And as my friend was talking, I realised that this would make absolutely no sense. My stuff is old, but it's not THAT fragile. (That's why I have it) Some of it has it's little breakdowns, but I've learned how to fix them. No, this had to be sabotage. Someone had vandalised my gear. And so now I knew why I'd quit. I decided that this was some sort of last straw, and was not going to solve this problem. My feelings were such that if someone wanted me to fail so badly, that they were willing to take down the whole event to do it, that it wasn't up to me to fix it. So I let it all fail and walked off the job. And so, liberated from all responsibility, I was out and enjoying myself.
But it still didn't add up, because I didn't remember this happening or doing any of it.
All I knew was that I was free and having fun.
And in the dream, the lightbulb in my head went on.
So I said to my friend: "J*****, I just figured something out. You see, the reason I'm asking these confusing questions is that I don't really know what's going on right now.
I don't know if it's the trauma of my stuff being trashed or what, but the last day I *remember* was last Tuesday." (it was Sunday in the dream). "I think that what's going on is that I'm having a precognitive dream right now, and that the next time I *really* talk to you is going to be when I find out if I'm right or not." And then I wandered off to find out some more about what happened.

And then I woke up.

I think I'm going to be keeping a little closer watch on my soundgear over then next couple of months.

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Maugorn

July 2025

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